Let’s talk about bullying
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One of the biggest gifts a parent can give their child is the skills to handle ‘tricky’ people
What is bullying?
It’s a sustained pattern of aggression by a person with more power, targeting someone with less power. Its repeated behaviour – but what is the power and where does it come from?
In children, it is often that the bully has more social status or have been led to believe they do.
Bullying is about everyone in the group, room, office or playground. What about the supporter who wants to stay in favour with the bully or the person standing silently watching or the one who calls out and wants it to stop.
Anyone could be a bully or the victim – in children it tends to be animalistic with a strong instinct in many children to join the pack.
What can parents do?
Work out what your child’s vulnerabilities are – what are their emotional needs?
Do they need love and belonging or do they crave power status and recognition from others?
Children who are passive and gentle might be more vulnerable to bullying or being recruited by a bully to be one of their supporters.
For children who crave power and recognition – this could easily trigger bullying behaviour
Parents can combat bullying behaviour by nurturing a sense of kindness in their children and help them understand how other people are feeling.
Sometimes everyone in the family is a bully; parents bully their children; older sibling bully younger ones and the young ones bully other children at school. This situation is rare and these families are difficult to help.
What to look out for?
Parents who raise their children to believe they are smarter, better looking and better at everything than anyone else – could be giving their children a big problem.
It is much healthier to raise children to be mindful of others feelings and to encourage them to be confident, resilient and strong.
Online bullying
Bullying online can be relentless – if you feel this is happening to your child. Please take action to support them and deal with the situation
What about the future?
Being on the receiving end of bullying is traumatic and damaging; but emphasis this chapter of their lives will end and although they won’t recognise it at the time – they will become stronger, have a better understanding of how people behave and most importantly how to manage the difficult people that come into their lives as they become adults.
